JOEY STYLES: "Hello everyone and welcome to Gene Vangelisti Memorial
field in downtown Durham, North Carolina. I am Joey Styles...."
JOE GERTNER: "And I am Joel, 'I'm a ratings generator and a woman penetrator', Gertner."
STYLES: "It's been over a month since the Bulls did the impossible and
went from the absolute bottom of the league to the Championship in just one year.
Since winning the Championship, the Bulls have made several major deals which net them
Shannon Stewart, Gary Sheffield, Eddie Taubensee, Wilton Guerrero, Paul Shuey, Keith Foulke
and top prospects BJ Garbe and Corey Patterson. In addition, during the celebration held in
downtown Durham, Bulls GM Tom Bruszak promised everyone there that the Bulls would win the
title again in 2000, stating that "this is the beggining of a dynasty." Amazingly, Bruszak's
normal loud mouth has been silent since then...until tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my
great honor to introduce to you, the self-proclaimed "Whole F'N Show of the Cal League",
CROWD OF BULLS FANS RISES TO THEIR FEET AS BRUSZAK ENTERS THE BUILDING TO THE SONG "NO CHANCE IN HELL"
BRUSZAK: "In August of 1998, I left the Goshen Redskins, a team that I had run since 1985 to
take over the Bulls to test my metal. I was given the largest contract ever offered to a
manager in this league and many people in the media questioned whether or not anybody was worth
that much money. My anwser to that question is that I am that damn good. Who else could have done what
I did? And now, I have built the millenium team in Cal. The last dynasty we saw in the league
was the Outlaws in the mid-1980's. Right now, the next great dynasty team is before us.
That said, there is some Jabroni named Jorge Santiago who claims he can beat us. Who is this
peon, this pimple on my ass who claims he can beat me? Yes, Jorge, you have a nice little team,
but let's face it, you can't compete with Vlad, Nomar, Robbie, Mr. Green and the rest of the boys.
I appreciate your enthusiasm, but let's face it, you don't have what it takes. But, you know
what, all is not lost. In fact, I'm going to give you a present. Yes, I am that nice. See,
I'm going to take that crown on your crappy logo, shine it up really nice, turn
that som' bitch sideways and stick it straight up, your candy ass! Now, if your still
confident, Mr. Santiago, I offer you this: if you beat me in the playoffs, then I will
shave my head, take a picture and stick it on the website for one year. If, one the other hand,
I beat you in the playoffs, you shave your head, take a picture and your ugly grill get's posted
on the website for one year. How 'bout it? I've got balls the size of grapefruits....how 'bout
STYLES: "Wow, what a challenge put on the table. The only question now is will the
Monarchs agree to it?"